When it comes to talking about sexuality, desire and successful relationships, Esther Perel is an erudite and visionary therapist who shares many insights and fascinating perceptions about modern love and relationships. Her popular TED Talk has been viewed close to 3 million times.
She recently appeared on Lewis Howe’s podcast, The School of Greatness. This is a wonderful interview that’s well worth listening to for the whole 75 minutes.
Some of the topics she covers include:
- How the Clinton sex scandal inspired her to start this work
- How adultery is viewed in different cultures throughout the world
- The impact of poor sex education on developing sexuality
- How contempt, indifference, neglect, and violence can destroy any intimate relationship
- Why you need to start treating your partner as you do a best friend
- How our parents impact our relationship skills
- The interesting fact that women get bored with monogamy sooner than men (and why this happens)
- A new way to think about the way you get turned on and turned off
- Why investing in being your best self and pursuing what lights you up keeps you interested in a monogamous relationship
- Why emotional risk and desire are inter-dependant
- How having huge expectations of your partner can damage the relationship (and why we need to return to the ‘village’)
- The importance of the 4 pillars of any relationship: Trust, Affection, Intimacy, Desire
- The development of a marriage and the different phases you can move through
- Why partners need to have yearly check-ins and not wait until the next crisis
- How a divorce can be seen as a success, not a failure
- The phenomenon of LAT couples (Living Apart Together) and what it might mean for the future of relationships
- How your attraction to someone can actually cause you frustration in the long run
Watch the video below to see Esther Perel’s interview.