Do you have problems meeting new dating partners? The 5-second rule can help you
I was recently searching on Amazon for some of the top-rating non-fiction books and stumbled across the book by Mel Robbins called, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. I then discovered Mel’s TEDx talk, viewed over 12 million times, How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over.
While this was not the typical relationship advice and self-help information I’m interested in, I watched the video with curiosity and realised this was fantastic advice for anyone who was desperate and dateless and having problems meeting people.
You see, there’s a reason why her TEDx talk has been so wildly popular and why her book is at the top of the Amazon charts. In essence, Mel has a very simple tool for taking action in your life. She calls it the 5-second rule.
What is the 5-second rule?
The 5-second rule works on the premise that if you want to create change in your life, and you know that behavioural changes will help you bring about what you want, you need to physically act within five seconds. Simple, isn’t it?
Well, this isn’t a “Just Do It” approach. The 5-second rule works like this: if you have an impulse to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds, or your brain will kill the idea. This stops you from putting on your natural ‘handbrake’ or resisting taking action, which leads to you feeling stuck and NOT reaching your goals.
If you’re single and have trouble meeting people, there are endless tips, advice, strategies, and all sorts of free information online about how to meet new people and start dating. But in my experience, many people get stuck at the point of taking action.
Taking positive action as a single might include:
- moving out of your comfort zone by going to events
- walking across a bar to introduce yourself to someone
- joining a meetup group
- being extra friendly to someone you meet while shopping, or
- asking someone you already know on a first date.
When you’re using the 5-second rule, you’re not ruminating about the pros and cons of going to an event; you RSVP within 5 seconds. If you see an attractive stranger at a bar that keeps catching your eye, you take that first step towards them within 5-seconds of having the impulse to introduce yourself. Distilled down, you physically move within 5 seconds of your impulse to realise your goal.
It’s a simple strategy and I love the fact it’s so easy to remember and something you can employ right now.
When it comes to meeting new people and improving your chances of meeting a potential partner, I believe the 5-second rule can make a difference in your life and your relationship status.
If you’re interested to find out more, watch the video below of Mel Robbins explaining the theory and try out the 5-second rule for yourself.
Click the play button below to watch Mel Robbin’s TEDx talk.
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Clinton Power is a relationship counsellor and Gestalt therapist. Since 2003 he has helped individuals and couples move out of relationship pain and create great relationships. Get Clinton’s FREE report: 10 Tips for Moving Out of Relationship Pain, by clicking the button below.
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Since 2003, Clinton Power has helped thousands of couples and individuals as a counsellor and psychotherapist in private practice in Sydney and online in Australia. Clinton regularly comments in the media on issues of relationships and has appeared on Channel 7, The Sydney Morning Herald, and ABC Radio. Clinton’s eBook, 31 Days to Build a Better Relationship is available for Kindle on Amazon. Click here to take Clinton’s relationship checkup quiz to find out how well you know your partner.