In this post, I flesh out all the components of assertiveness so that you can communicate clearly and effectively. Assertiveness is one of those foundational communication skills required in any successful relationship. There's often a lot of talk about being assertive in your communication, but not many people truly understand the nuances of … [Read more...] about 10 Steps Towards Mastering Assertiveness in Your Relationships
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What Classical Music and Successful Relationships Have in Common
Classical music and relationships have a lot in common. Believe it or not, I was a classical musician for close to 20 years before I became a full-time relationship counsellor. I was a trumpet player and performed opera and symphonic music with Australian and international orchestras and managed to see a lot of the world on musical … [Read more...] about What Classical Music and Successful Relationships Have in Common
5 Relationship Pitfalls When Communicating Via Text
Advances in technology in the last decade, and particularly SMS, have made communication via technology  faster and easier than ever. It's also brought pitfalls to the way we communicate in our relationships. In this article I reveal the 5 worst relationship pitfalls you can make when communicating via text. SMS, which is short for … [Read more...] about 5 Relationship Pitfalls When Communicating Via Text
Holiday Relationship Stress: A Survival Guide
With the Christmas holiday season in full swing and Christmas only days away, holiday relationship stress is often at an all-time high. This can often result in tension, conflict, the opening of old arguments and sometimes relationship breakdown. In this short survival guide, I will give you some tips that I think will help you reduce your … [Read more...] about Holiday Relationship Stress: A Survival Guide
10 Surefire Ways to Ruin Your Relationship
The title of this post is a little provocative. You may be wondering 'why would I want to know how to ruin a relationship?' While it is helpful to know what does work in a relationship, it is just as helpful to know what does not work. When we know what doesn't work, we can avoid those behaviours and repeat what does work. After many years of … [Read more...] about 10 Surefire Ways to Ruin Your Relationship
Does Your Relationship Need a Spring Clean?
As 'spring has sprung', well at least in the Southern Hemisphere, it has got me thinking about spring cleaning. For me, spring cleaning has always been an opportunity to go through all those old cupboards, drawers and wardrobes to clear out the junk, make new space and organise your contents. It's a great feeling when you do this and your life can … [Read more...] about Does Your Relationship Need a Spring Clean?
Online Dating: 5 Tips to Survive and Find the Mate You Want
I am amazed at how many couples I now see that report to me that their relationship commenced online. It seems that what was once an unusual occurrence is now becoming the norm. Many people prefer the convenience of perusing online profiles rather than standing in noisy bars and clubs to meet potential partners. I have seen many couples that … [Read more...] about Online Dating: 5 Tips to Survive and Find the Mate You Want
How to Navigate the End of a Relationship on Facebook
More and more we are hearing in the media about relationship problems that involve Facebook. In particular, it seems it is the end of a relationship where interactions can deteriorate on Facebook. In my clinical practice, I am hearing about behaviours such as jealousy, spying, cyber-stalking, public shaming, open hostility and conflict being … [Read more...] about How to Navigate the End of a Relationship on Facebook
How to Close the Door on Your Relationship Exits
One of the patterns I have noticed in the couples I have been working with lately is that they engage in 'relationship exits'. A relationship exit can be described as when one partner acts out their feelings instead of communicating about what is happening for them in a way that is respectful and promotes connection rather than disconnection. Any … [Read more...] about How to Close the Door on Your Relationship Exits
The Power of Touch in Your Relationship
New research reported in the New York Times suggests that couples that engage in more touch report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This might sound like common sense, but it is also a good reminder of what helps sustain successful relationships. Although it is hard to know what came first for these couples, the relationship … [Read more...] about The Power of Touch in Your Relationship