There’s no doubt that the instant availability of porn through the Internet is changing our attitudes towards sex and porn.
If you wanted to obtain pornography in decades past, you had to risk being seen slipping into a seedy-looking sex store, often in a grungy part of the city. The potential for shame was often a barrier to consuming porn, plus it was much harder to get.
Today is a different story. Anyone can obtain instant access to endless hours of free porn online with just a quick search on Google.
I’ve been interested in following whether porn ‘on-tap’ has the potential to affect relationships and sex lives in the real world.
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There’s no doubt that problems such as porn addiction are on the rise due to the anonymity and ease of accessibility in viewing it.
What is social media porn?
The rise of social media porn has been well documented in the press recently and seems to be an evolution from how porn videos have been consumed in the past, where it has tended to be a more solitary activity.
While many people still consume porn individually in private, there is a movement towards porn that has an interactive and social aspect to it.
New sites are emerging that encourage users to engage with others and share professional and homemade porn online while remaining anonymous.
New apps and websites are encouraging social media porn
Sites like PinSex (NSFW) and PinGay (NSFW) are emerging on the scene and encourage an interactive and social dimension to the consumption of pornography.
And sites such as SnapChat, the photo-sharing app where users send photos that self-destruct after 10 seconds, are extremely popular with younger users that are sometimes using it for ‘sexting’ with each other. This has led to some schools banning the app out of fear of a sexting outbreak.
The new social media app Vine, where you can create 6-second videos, has also been inundated with amateur porn. Many users are sharing short videos of themselves masturbating or exposing their body parts anonymously, with some people encouraging others to meet them on Skype or other platforms for webcam sex.
Users find each other by searching for hashtags such as #vineafterdark, #vineporn0, #masterb8 and many others.
Vine has taken a relatively relaxed attitude to this inundation of homemade porn (unlike Tumblr‘s crackdown when it was acquired by Yahoo) by adding a black cover to some of these videos with a warning, but they can still be seen by tapping the screen.
How does porn affect real sex?
It’s clear that the sex that’s portrayed in porn resembles very little of the type of sex people have in the real world.
One of the concerns that I have about porn is it can create unrealistic views and expectations about sexual relationships. I also believe it has some benefits when used in moderation.
When one partner is too tired for sex, it’s a legitimate sexual outlet for the other partner. And couples can use porn together as a great way to increase their arousal levels before focusing on each other.
However, some of the people I work with have been using porn as a relationship exit– a way to start to withdraw from your relationship by focusing your energies elsewhere.
Make love, not porn
At a TED talk in 2009, Cindy Gallop gave a 4-minute presentation that became one of the event’s most talked about. She spoke from her own personal experience and believes that hardcore pornography has influenced a generation of men and their attitudes towards sex.
Check out her 4-minute TED talk below (warning: adult content).
So is porn changing real sex lives?
I’m not sure there’s a definitive answer to this yet, but there is more anecdotal evidence emerging that young men are being influenced in the bedroom by what they are viewing on their computers.
Maybe time will tell, but I think it’s an important conversation we continueaz that includes the education of young men about the differences between porn sex and real sex.
Check out this humorous video below that explains the differences between porn sex and real sex using food.
Do you need relationship help?
If you need help with your relationship, contact Clinton Power + Associates on (02) 8968 9323 to discuss your situation and find out how we can help.
Since 2003, Clinton Power has helped thousands of couples and individuals as a counsellor and psychotherapist in private practice in Sydney and online in Australia. Clinton regularly comments in the media on issues of relationships and has appeared on Channel 7, The Sydney Morning Herald, and ABC Radio. Clinton’s eBook, 31 Days to Build a Better Relationship is available through his website or Amazon. Click here to take Clinton’s relationship checkup quiz to find out how well you know your partner.
