Can you relate to any of these statements?
- l fear that I’ll be repeatedly hurt by love, so I avoid taking any risks or moving closer to anyone
- I’m single and feel lonely. I don’t think I’ll never find a ‘good enough’ relationship
- I feel frustrated that I keep making the same relationship mistakes over and over again, but I don’t know how to stop
- I feel scared and distrustful whenever I get close to someone, so I pull away and keep my distance
- I think I’m better off single, alone and lonely than to feel the pain of a bad relationship again
- I am terrified that I will never love someone or that no one will ever love me
- I feel so scarred by my previous relationship that I have decided that I just don’t ‘do’ relationships
- I feel devastated that my partner has left me and I don’t understand what happened and where I went wrong
- I just can’t let go of past relationship hurts and I don’t let anyone get too close
Individuals in a relationship
- I’m miserable because I don’t know how to communicate so that my partner can really hear me
- I’m ambivalent about my relationship and considering leaving my partner. I need to make a decision
- I’m constantly angry and picking a fight with my partner and I don’t know how to stop
- I feel afraid because I think my partner is going to leave me
- I withhold love and sex from my partner to punish them for all the past hurts I’m carrying
- I’m feeling lost and alone in my relationship. Something has to change, but what?
- I’m sexually attracted to other people, and I’m scared I will act on these feelings and hurt my partner
- I’m afraid I am beginning to repeat the terrible relationship my parents had
- I’m so frightened to be alone that I smother my partner and it’s driving him/her crazy
- I feel insecure, clingy, and jealous of my partner, and can’t trust him/her
- I can’t bear to be alone, yet I’m pushing my partner away
- I’m constantly cheating and lying to my partner and I don’t understand why
- We are so sick of the pain of constant bickering and never-ending arguments about things that never get resolved
- We have ongoing anger or resentment towards each other that we can’t seem to manage
- Our sexual needs don’t get met and we struggle to talk about sex
- We don’t know how to ‘fight fair’, so we are often blaming, criticizing or attacking each other
- Our relationship is at a crossroads. There is no joy anymore
- We struggle to communicate about the smallest things and often end up feeling miserable after a huge fight
- We feel growing resentment and contempt that means we shut each other out for long periods of time
- We can’t stop fighting because one of us wants to have children/be married and the other doesn’t
- We are struggling to decide whether to end this relationship or work on it
Couples in positive relationships that want to make it better
- We have a good relationship and want to make it even better!
There are many types of relationships, and I work with straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals as well as straight couples and same-sex couples.
Are you ready to move out of relationship pain?
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